I figured if anyone is still following me, I owe you a one year update. Because yes, one full year has come and gone. I now get to play the “this time last year” game, which currently is, This Time Last Year I was in a non-sleeping newborn psychosis. I was told it got better…but I did not believe that. I now realize that my babies were not good sleepers, aaaand I had twins. I also insisted on demand feeding, so I co-slept those little buggers, and I would nurse from side to side all night long.
And then they started moving. Jude went into his own crib, and one night, fed up, I put Thea in her own crib and…after 2 minutes of cries, she slept. All night. And has every night since. I have one sleeper! It was a miraculous night.
Jude still wakes up, I’m not going to lie. Once is a good night, three or four times is a bad night. But hubby and I are back in our own room, and I feel like a real person again. So yes, it does get better. Slowly, and without warning, but it does.
When I first started breastfeeding, I told myself to just make it to six months. Then I decided to go for a year. We are still going strong, and I often think about all the people who told me breastfeeding twins was near impossible. It took a lot of determination, and as I’ve discussed before, it was so so difficult in the beginning. I credit the amazing twin moms of my local La Leche League group, as well as a fear of having to wash and prepare a million bottles every day.
The best thing about this year? Getting over my fear of twins. I was so scared that I would be overwhelmed (and some days I was), that I would sink into a depression (and I did have those days too), that I would never have a life again, (ok, some weekends I still feel pretty lame), that I wouldn’t LIKE being a mom…but I did not account for actually enjoying being a twin mom. They play together, they make each other laugh. They are now napping on similar schedules and they go to bed at the same time. I can now appreciate how hard two DIFFERENT ages must be, and even though I mourned not being a mom-of-one, I am so happy that my children chose to come at the same time. This is our little family now, we are complete.
Over this past year we have moved twice (with a third time pending!), we have faced financial uncertainty, hubby and I have definitely had relationship struggles…our lives have been irrevocably changed.
But in the evenings, after dinner, when we play in the living room before bath time, sometimes they give each other these big wet kisses…sometimes, they hold sticky hands between their high chairs…sometimes Thea helps to wash Jude’s hair, and they always wave hi to each other when they get up after nap.
It really makes it all worth it.
Happy Birthday little people!