“Every happening is a lesson, a message.”
As I recover from my Halloween candy extravaganza, I thought I would do a quick post on Yoga Teacher Training. It is a strange and bumpy road, and almost the same sort of rabbit-hole as plant-based living: The more I learn, the more there seems there is to learn.
I have not been consistent with my home practice, I’ll admit. Some mornings, I just feel like my usual grumpy, sleepy self. On mornings like that I think, ugh, I’m never going to change. The negative monologue swings into high-gear and I remind myself of allll the things I have started and failed at, alllll the reasons why I won’t ever become a yoga teacher, allll the things about myself that I want to change, or that don’t measure up to my own expectations.
Then there are mornings when I push myself out of bed 20 minutes early. I force myself through a sun salutation or two, a few warriors and triangles; some twisting and a bit of binding, then I settle into a 10 minute seated meditation. Sometimes I just let myself sit there and listen to the sounds of the city in the morning. Today I tried to focus on my breathing, thinking “So” on the inhale and “Hum” on the exhale, the Sanskrit words for “I am.” On those mornings, I am a bit more awake. I don’t rush as much, and the negativity tour doesn’t start in my brain. It’s a subtle difference, it’s not like meditating is going to make a dramatic over-night change, but I can see how it may be the start of something.
The universe seems to be talking to me. A couple Saturdays ago, I was feeling very emotional and scared of the changes that I am inviting into my life (Friday night consisted of a cry-fest to my husband about moving to the country…what a basket-case). I went to the yoga studio, meaning to go to a hot class at 9am, but I got there early, and went to a Hatha class at 8:45 instead. I had always considered a hot flow class to be a more difficult class, requiring more strength and endurance. Lately, I am drawn to “regular” classes. On that Saturday morning, the teacher spoke about change and showing yourself kindness as you navigate change. It brought tears to my eyes because it was exactly what I needed to hear. More and more it happens with conversations I have, books I am reading, even t.v. shows that I watch. Just when I am feeling that something is off, I am given an answer or comforted.
I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, in that cheesy teen angst sort of way. I was hell-bent on never feeling any regret in my life, and believing that there is a greater purpose can do that. Now I am starting to change my mind. I think that we see everything in a certain way for a reason. I feel my perspective changing, and being able to use everything I come across to help my journey. I could have taken a yoga class where the instructor talked about change and not applied it to my life, but instead I chose to feel comforted by it. This is a small shift, and it was involuntary, but I’m starting to see the power behind it.
Lessons and messages surround us; it is up to us to see them.
One of my favourite games is to pull any book off the shelf, flip it open to any page and point to a line. Allow it to relate to you, you will be amazed how insightful it can be!
Also check out Crazy Sexy Life today for a great post on synchronizing with the universe.