Dear Sweet Sugar,
We’ve had some good times. From Friday night pizza and candy while watching TGIF (you remember, Full House and Family Matters), to those hot summer days when I would buy a large Slushie from the 7-11 and drop penny candies in the Slushie to freeze. From making cupcake icing, but forgetting to make the cupcakes to eating entire rolls of butterscotch lifesavers in one sitting at Christmas time.
Remember the year I lived around the corner from a Ben and Jerry’s? That was a good year; I’ll never forget you, Phish Food. Remember how I used to try and save my Halloween candy until Easter, and my Easter candy until Halloween, but it never lasted? Remember the highs? It was all because of you, Sugar Pie. Living just down the street from a corner store, I remember the fuzzy peaches, bubble tape, Swedish Berries. The Oreos, God I loved the Oreos, opened up, icing licked out and cookies eaten.
I know I haven’t been seeing you much lately. I’ve been neglecting our relationship. I don’t bring you home anymore. I avoid you when I’m out in public. I walk right past you in the grocery store. And you’re right, I do still have feelings for you.
I shouldn’t have invited you in for Halloween. It was my mistake, it was. And when only a few kids showed up at our door, and we were left together, alone, I knew what would happen.
But I’m suffering now, my sweet. I’m left with an aching head, a foggy brain, and sadness in my heart. This just won’t work, this thing between us. No matter how much fun we have together, I always end up hurting. And I don’t want to hurt anymore.
In some ways, it’s not fair! I see the way you are with others, you don’t seem to hurt them the same way you hurt me. I wish we could just see each other in moderation, every now and then. Maybe we could get along like that, I often think. But I know better. Ours is an obsessive relationship. When you are near, you are all I can think of.
You can’t give me what I need, Shug. I know that now, after this most recent fling. I guess somewhere in the back of my head, I thought maybe we could work things out. But we can’t. It’s over. I will miss you, and you know I’ll never forget you, but I can’t have you in my life anymore.
Hopefully one day, we’ll pass by each other and wave from a distance, just two old friends who have moved on.
Thanks for the times, Sugar. I’ll think of you fondly.
With love but not regret,